Thought for the Day

January 5, 2016

Life is a stage and any circumstance or event is merely a backdrop. You yourself are the director who can change the rhetoric and produce a happy ending!

I once encountered a problem, which almost cost me my life - it was too big for me to tackle. 15 years ago I wasn't as experienced in dealing with grief as I am today. My first reaction was typical - I immediately convinced myself that this hopeless situation would ruin my life or even kill me. I accepted my plight and began the descent into the abyss of despair. A thought of reevaluating this grim circumstance, in an attempt to compartmentalize it along with other problems - big or small, never occurred to me. This is how I signed my own jail sentence – my incarceration within the walls of my intense grief. I felt cornered and viewed the situation as something that would forever determine my life. I was convinced that I had been stripped of any feasible chances to ever be happy again.

Only much later did I realize that no single circumstance, no great loss, and no major defeat, could possibly determine one’s entire life. We certainly can't control the reality, but the choice to persist in grieving or switch to a positive mode, is always in our control!

Instead of separating themselves from the negative, human beings tend to replace their own persona with a grieving shadow; people tend to identify themselves with their horrific circumstance instead of distancing from it. Once I realized that I replaced my entire identity and all of my willpower with this one single wretched (though most unfortunate) circumstance, it was a eureka moment. I refused to be a victim of bad luck that was thrown at me! I couldn’t change my reality but I certainly could change my perception of it. And I did!

When asked if my recommendations could be useful for people who’ve gone through a horrific experience, I am certain that they will be. Being a life guard doesn’t require an experience of drowning. I would like to become your safety instructor, someone who would stop you from lingering in the negative, and would show you the direction towards the new possibilites instead.

Whatever your situation is, it's only a backdrop for your life, and you can build anything and everything while your reality remains unchanged. Please accept that certain things can't be claimed back. Life is a line and not a circle. We can’t return. 

No matter how big your mountain of a problem is, there's always a way around it. So move on, and leave this mountain be. Try a new approach if what you've been doing is not working. Change your strategy - accept your reality, regroup, and move on!

Loosing is normal; it's part of living, no matter how painful that is. Loosing a loved one, a job, or loosing one's faith – all of it hurts. Of course! Being betrayed or abandoning hope – isn’t it devastating? Most definitely! Perhaps, you truly believed that bad changes in life are avoidable? Indeed! That it only happens in movies and in books? Perhaps, you had been under the impression that only those around you endure the pain?  Duh ...  At a certain unfortunate moment disaster knocks on the door, and anything might happen to you or me, as bad luck is randomly divided among people and thus, unavoidable. The key is to view one’s misfortunes as part of life and move on. Being knocked down is a starting point from which the only direction is back UP.

Life is a big stage where some people rehearse happy endings while others bury themselves in their tragedy. Bounce back! You and only you can determine your role in this life - a happy character loved by everyone, or a miserable creature avoided by most. Shine! That way you’ll attract positive emotions and happy people.

Warning: There'll be many occasions when people would outpour their love and compassion in order to support you. Be grateful, but if it plunges you into self-pity, resist! That was the only approach that worked for me. Today I most sincerely apologize to all those who genuinely wanted to support me, and whom I turned down, as I couldn't accept their pity. Instead, come celebrate life with me today! 

Be happy, guys! Search for your own way to fight grief, or follow my recipes, whatever works for you. Utilize anything and everything that can serve as a tool in your quest for happiness - gardening, sex, or adopting a pet. It all works if you start looking for means to become happy again! The choice is yours: persist in grieving or claim your happiness today!
February 22, 2016

Being a staunch realist, how can I complain about my life at this point, or at any point for that matter?! I have everything that is realistically possible on the good side of life; and haven't yet suffered what might be readily available up my fate's mysterious sleeve in the future .
Would be stupid to whine today - a reliable recipe for attracting misfortunes. Whining is comparable to something along the following lines: stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.
So many things can go wrong with our lives, that the only smart way to live is to enjoy the short breaks in between.